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[title] => Spoveď mladej čitateľky Sofie (28): Muž ma chce nechať, hoci som tehotná
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Som v šiestom mesiaci tehotenstva, ktoré nebolo v pláne, ale ešte pred pár týždňami to vyzeralo, že to s partnerom zvládneme. Najskôr zostal zaskočený, ale to sme boli v podstate obaja, no potom sa zdalo, že sa dokonca teší. Najmä po zistení, že to bude dcéra. Kedykoľvek sme sa v minulosti o potomstve rozprávali, tvrdil totiž, že raz chce tri dcéry. Aj keď nikdy nepovedal, že so mnou a ani kedy. Stále sme totiž žili len tu a teraz, bez plánov na to, čo bude o týždeň… Takže deti, sobáš, obrúčky neboli u nás nikdy témou dňa… To ani teraz, začali sme sa však pomaly vciťovať do rodičovskej roly. Priateľ nevynechal ani jednu prehliadku u gynekológa, všade chodil so mnou. Fotil si ultrazvukové snímky do mobilu a občas som ho pristihla, ako si ich prezerá a usmieva sa. Takmer dokonalé rodinné šťastie, keby… Keby ma netrápili nevoľnosti ešte aj teraz a keby som s rizikovým tehotenstvom nebola už tri mesiace zatvorené na péenke medzi štyrmi stenami bytu. Momentálne tak nie som príjemná spoločníčka, ale verila som, že ma partner vzhľadom na okolnosti berie s rezervou. Nebral…
Mala som pocit, že sa napriek mojim výbuchom milujeme
Občas vypenil už predtým a zavrel sa na niekoľko hodín v pracovni, ale stále to bol pozorný partner. Staral sa o domácnosť, nakupoval, varil, masíroval mi kríže… A lúčil sa pusou na čelo. Nebol to sex, ale všetko to bolo také intímne, že som mala pocit, že napriek mojim výbuchom, nervozite a priznávam, určitej panovačnosti, sa milujeme. A keď príde na svet malá, všetko bude už len krásne. Stačí vydržať. Lenže on prišiel s tým, že nevydrží. „Vieš čo, už mám toho dosť! Nie si smrteľne chorá, aby som ťa ľutoval, ani kráľovná, aby som sa pred tebou ponižoval,“ sekal do živého a ja, znova so žalúdkom v krku, som doslova lapala po dychu. Čo to rozpráva? „Prepáč…“ pokračoval a hovoril čoraz zničujúcejšie veci. „S dieťaťom ti, samozrejme, pomôžem, budem takým otcom, akým len dokážem byť, ale viem, že nám dvom by to neklapalo… A úprimne, my dvaja sme vlastne nikdy neplánovali spoločnú budúcnosť, a teraz vidím, že to bolo dobre…“ Ja som ju plánovala! kričala som za ním nahnevaná a plačúca zároveň. Cítila som sa taká ponížená… Prečo mi to robíš? Uvedomujem si, že som opäť po nadávky nešla ďaleko. „Pre toto,“ odvrkol. A odvtedy sa viac-menej nerozprávame. Už sú to dva týždne, no zatiaľ sa neodsťahoval. Znamená to, že to nie je definitívny koniec? Neviem, či je to z lásky, ale nechcem, aby odišiel. Bojím sa zostať na pôrod a dieťa sama…
Naučte sa kontrolovať správanie
Partner, tešiac sa na spoločného potomka, sa k nej správal ako ku kráľovnej. Akoby sa však do tej roly vcítila až priveľmi. Brala ho totiž ako poddaného. Má podľa psychologičky PhDr. Evy Krkoškovej šancu muža zastaviť, keď sa pre to rozhodol zo vzťahu utiecť?
Sofiino tehotenstvo a jeho komplikácie vyplavili na povrch problémy, ktoré boli v jej vzťahu s otcom dieťaťa prítomné už dávnejšie. Hlavný problém sa momentálne ukazuje v Sofiinom správaní voči partnerovi. Jej impulzívne reakcie ničili partnerovu snahu o budovanie kvalitného vzťahu a, samozrejme, jeho sebadôveru a sebaúctu. Jeho obranné mechanizmy sa tak zamerali na ochranu vlastnej osobnosti a zachovanie psychického zdravia. Preto postupne ochladol, zameral sa na rodičovstvo, pričom naďalej zodpovedne vytvára podmienky na úspešný priebeh gravidity. Sofia by mala pracovať na svojom osobnostnom dozrievaní a naučiť sa kontrolovať svoje správanie. Za vzniknuté emócie nemôžeme, ale môžeme regulovať ich výstupy smerom k okoliu. Naučiť sa to dá, len treba chcieť.
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Mala som pocit, že sa napriek mojim výbuchom milujeme, hovorí Sofia.
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Som v šiestom mesiaci tehotenstva, ktoré nebolo v pláne, ale ešte pred pár týždňami to vyzeralo, že to s partnerom zvládneme. Najskôr zostal zaskočený, ale to sme boli v podstate obaja, no potom sa zdalo, že sa dokonca teší. Najmä po zistení, že to bude dcéra. Kedykoľvek sme sa v minulosti o potomstve rozprávali, tvrdil totiž, že raz chce tri dcéry. Aj keď nikdy nepovedal, že so mnou a ani kedy. Stále sme totiž žili len tu a teraz, bez plánov na to, čo bude o týždeň… Takže deti, sobáš, obrúčky neboli u nás nikdy témou dňa… To ani teraz, začali sme sa však pomaly vciťovať do rodičovskej roly. Priateľ nevynechal ani jednu prehliadku u gynekológa, všade chodil so mnou. Fotil si ultrazvukové snímky do mobilu a občas som ho pristihla, ako si ich prezerá a usmieva sa. Takmer dokonalé rodinné šťastie, keby… Keby ma netrápili nevoľnosti ešte aj teraz a keby som s rizikovým tehotenstvom nebola už tri mesiace zatvorené na péenke medzi štyrmi stenami bytu. Momentálne tak nie som príjemná spoločníčka, ale verila som, že ma partner vzhľadom na okolnosti berie s rezervou. Nebral…
Mala som pocit, že sa napriek mojim výbuchom milujeme
Občas vypenil už predtým a zavrel sa na niekoľko hodín v pracovni, ale stále to bol pozorný partner. Staral sa o domácnosť, nakupoval, varil, masíroval mi kríže… A lúčil sa pusou na čelo. Nebol to sex, ale všetko to bolo také intímne, že som mala pocit, že napriek mojim výbuchom, nervozite a priznávam, určitej panovačnosti, sa milujeme. A keď príde na svet malá, všetko bude už len krásne. Stačí vydržať. Lenže on prišiel s tým, že nevydrží. „Vieš čo, už mám toho dosť! Nie si smrteľne chorá, aby som ťa ľutoval, ani kráľovná, aby som sa pred tebou ponižoval,“ sekal do živého a ja, znova so žalúdkom v krku, som doslova lapala po dychu. Čo to rozpráva? „Prepáč…“ pokračoval a hovoril čoraz zničujúcejšie veci. „S dieťaťom ti, samozrejme, pomôžem, budem takým otcom, akým len dokážem byť, ale viem, že nám dvom by to neklapalo… A úprimne, my dvaja sme vlastne nikdy neplánovali spoločnú budúcnosť, a teraz vidím, že to bolo dobre…“ Ja som ju plánovala! kričala som za ním nahnevaná a plačúca zároveň. Cítila som sa taká ponížená… Prečo mi to robíš? Uvedomujem si, že som opäť po nadávky nešla ďaleko. „Pre toto,“ odvrkol. A odvtedy sa viac-menej nerozprávame. Už sú to dva týždne, no zatiaľ sa neodsťahoval. Znamená to, že to nie je definitívny koniec? Neviem, či je to z lásky, ale nechcem, aby odišiel. Bojím sa zostať na pôrod a dieťa sama…
Naučte sa kontrolovať správanie
Partner, tešiac sa na spoločného potomka, sa k nej správal ako ku kráľovnej. Akoby sa však do tej roly vcítila až priveľmi. Brala ho totiž ako poddaného. Má podľa psychologičky PhDr. Evy Krkoškovej šancu muža zastaviť, keď sa pre to rozhodol zo vzťahu utiecť?
Sofiino tehotenstvo a jeho komplikácie vyplavili na povrch problémy, ktoré boli v jej vzťahu s otcom dieťaťa prítomné už dávnejšie. Hlavný problém sa momentálne ukazuje v Sofiinom správaní voči partnerovi. Jej impulzívne reakcie ničili partnerovu snahu o budovanie kvalitného vzťahu a, samozrejme, jeho sebadôveru a sebaúctu. Jeho obranné mechanizmy sa tak zamerali na ochranu vlastnej osobnosti a zachovanie psychického zdravia. Preto postupne ochladol, zameral sa na rodičovstvo, pričom naďalej zodpovedne vytvára podmienky na úspešný priebeh gravidity. Sofia by mala pracovať na svojom osobnostnom dozrievaní a naučiť sa kontrolovať svoje správanie. Za vzniknuté emócie nemôžeme, ale môžeme regulovať ich výstupy smerom k okoliu. Naučiť sa to dá, len treba chcieť.
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Mala som pocit, že sa napriek mojim výbuchom milujeme, hovorí Sofia.
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28. január 2026 20:54